


Enough

by WhereverMySITakesMe



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, F/F, Lung Infection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:08:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26680411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhereverMySITakesMe/pseuds/WhereverMySITakesMe
Summary: Even after everything Barriss has been through at the hands of the Empire, there questions Ahsoka needs to ask. And they both need to know where things stand between them.
Relationships: Barriss Offee/Ahsoka Tano
Kudos: 41





	Enough

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to Shell but can stand alone

Much as she didn’t want to, much as she wanted anything else, Barriss got better. Thanks to the healing power of bacta, the time she spent recovering, too sick to have to explain herself, was short. Even the fog of fever and malnutrition had started lift, thanks to whatever was being pumped into her blood. Ahsoka had been at Barriss’ side the entire time. It should have been soothing, but as her awareness increased, the other woman’s presence filled her with trepidation for the questions she knew was coming. It was a relief when they finally came.

“Bariss?” Ahsoka said. Her voice was uncertain. But still gentle.

“Yes” Barriss forced her eyes open.

“How are you feeling?”

“My chest hurts” An understatement. It felt like there was a heavy weight resting on it, and every breath burned.

“You have a fungal infection in your lungs and throat. Can you sit up?” Ahsoka asked, offering a hand

Barriss ignored it and pushed herself up, making her arms shake with exertion “You want to know if I’m well enough to talk” 

“There are a lot of things I want to ask. But I know that you’ve been through a lot”

“I can talk” 

“If you are sure” Ahsoka offered her a mug of warm liquid “But take this first. It might help your throat”

“Thank you” Barriss took the mug and stared into the liquid’s surface.

“So. Where did we leave things off?” Ahsoka sounded as uncomfortable as Barriss felt.

“I framed you”

“Yes. You did that. And...other things.” There was a pause, then Ahsoka sighed “Let’s start again. How long where you in Imperial captivity?”

“I don’t know”

“Try to guess. Weeks? Months?”

“I know that it was years. How long was it?” Barriss asked. Ahsoka looked much older than when they had last met.

“I don’t know” Ahsoka seemed confused.

“Your guess is better than mine, you haven’t been in prison” She hoped.

“You were there the entire time?” Ahsoka was stunned

Barriss nodded calmly and asked again “How long?”

“Seventeen years” 

Almost half her life. 

It was surprising how little Barriss found herself caring. She couldn’t seem to summon the energy.

Ahsoka, on the other hand, was almost radiating shock and confusion. Barriss waited patiently for Ahsoka to process the information. She took a sip of her drink. Ahsoka had been right, the warmth was soothing. And the flavor. She couldn’t remember the last time she had tasted anything so good. Sweet but earthy at the same time. She could pick out hints of milk After, apparently, seventeen years of foul tasting slop or tasteless ration packs, it was heaven.

“Barriss” Ahsoka finally found her voice “Can you… Can you talk me through what happened between then and now”

Barriss nodded.

“The Republic put you in prison”

“Yes. For life. But, after some time, an official came to speak with me. Told me about the Jedi’s betrayal, about the Empire. He offered to free me if I would help track down the remaining Jedi”

“And then what?”

“I made the biggest mistake of my life”

“What did you do?”

“I asked why”

“And they told you they want to kill us?” Ahsoka asked

Barriss nodded again “So I refused, of course”

“You were...not fond of the Jedi when we last spoke”

“It wasn’t the fault of most individual Jedi. We were lead astray. Besides, what would killing them achieve if they had already lost? I stood **against** violence, you know that” Trying to describe her principles, from back when she’d had principles, sent a wave of exhaustion washing over Barriss and talking at length and with passion sparked a coughing fit. 

“Easy” Ahsoka put a hand on Barriss’ back to steady her “Just breathe”

Eventually the coughing subsided, leaving Barriss somehow even more tired and aching than before. She took another drink of the tea, hoping the sweet liquid would revive her.

Ahsoka let her have several seconds to gather herself before saying “I know it hurts, but it’s a good sign that you’ve started coughing like that. It means you’re getting stronger. Do you want to stop going over this?”

Barriss shook her head “I want to deal with it in one go. I can get through it” A small smile crept onto her face and she met Ahsoka’s eyes “Just like Geonosis”

Ahsoka smiled a little as well and there was a flicker of connection between them. A reminder of when they had been friends.

It was Barriss who cut it off, dropping her gaze back to her tea “So, I refused their offer and they threw me back in prison. That was then they began torturing me”

A sympathetic expression of pain crossed Ahsoka’s face “To try to get you to change your mind?”

Barriss nodded “And for information on the Jedi they were looking for. I told them nothing. But…” She stopped though she didn’t really know why. It wasn’t like that was the worst thing she’d done.

“Whatever you did, I understand. Years of torture…” Ahsoka trailed off as well. It was obviously hard for her to think about what Barriss had been through

Barriss tried to be grateful for Ahsoka’s understanding “I became afraid that they were break me. Or that their torment would turn me to the dark side. So I cut myself off from the Force”

Ahsoka exhaled “That must have been hard”

Had it been? Barriss wasn’t sure any more. She probably would have missed it, if she had been able to remember it properly but everything was so foggy. “I don’t want to talk about it”

“Okay” Ahsoka touched Barriss’ hand.

Barriss shifted her hand away “Once they realised there was little risk of me escaping I was sent to a labour camp. They left me there for years”

“I see” Ahsoka’s face was a picture of sympathy and kindness. 

A lump rose in Barriss’ throat and she had to look away “I suppose that’s where I picked up the infection. The Imperial facilities were sanitary” She coughed again.

“You don’t need to talk abut the details” Ahsoka reassured her.

Barriss just shrugged, too weary to care.

Ahsoka sighed “What happened after the camp?”

“They brought me back to a torture facility. I think there was some form of confusion over who I was”

Ahsoka tilted her head “What do you mean?”

“The questions they asked me didn’t make sense. But by that point I was so far gone…”

“I see” Ahsoka tried to adopt a professional tone, but Barriss could hear that that was a struggle “If you can remember anything they asked you, it would be helpful”

“I’ll try” Barriss massaged her chest, wishing for a clean breath, a clear head.

“We appreciate that”

“Ahsoka” Barriss looked up “Who’s ‘we’? Where am I?”

“We’re the rebellion. We’re trying to take down the Empire, let people be free” Ahsoka said proudly then smiled “I should have explained that to you earlier, I forgot how little you knew about everything”

“I’ve been...quite out of the loop”

“You have. Is there anything else you want to know?”

“One thing” Barriss forced herself to look into Ahsoka’s eyes again “Why did you free me? After everything”

“I couldn’t leave you there” Ahsoka seemed blindsided by the question 

“You could have died because of me. And there is no way you trust me now” As Barriss’ emotions heightened, she started to cough again.

“You don’t deserve what they were doing to you, Barriss. No one deserves that” Ahsoka didn’t try to touch Barriss again, knowing that she’d be shaken off.

Barriss just looked away as she fought to regain control of her breathing. She didn’t know what she deserved any more. Didn’t care. 

She desperately wanted to curl up and sleep. Get away from the pain and guilt.

Ahsoka sighed heavily “Even if I’d wanted to leave you, I couldn’t have. The rest of the Rebellion, including Kanan, who was with me, wouldn’t leave a former Jedi in the Empire’s hands ”

That made more sense. Ahsoka’s rebellion would have expectation her “What have you told them about me?”

“Your name and that you were a Padawan. And I asked them not to question you until after I’d spoken to you. Kanan… guessed that we were close”

Barriss ignored the last comment “Are you planning to tell them?”

“I don’t know”

“They should know”

“You would be surprised, we work with a lot of extremists. It comes with the territory. I don’t think they’ll reject you for it.”

Barriss said nothing, so Ahsoka continued “I haven’t actually asked if you want to join us. You don’t have to. What do you want?”

That was an even harder question that what she deserved.

“I don’t know” Barriss closed her eyes for a second “Ahsoka, I’m so tired”

“You don’t need to make a decision right away.” Ahsoka reassured her “Rest, drink your tea”

They were both silent for a few seconds as Barriss drank slowly. She wished that she still had the ability to read Ahsoka’s feelings. Wished she knew what her former friend thought of her.

“I’m not a Jedi any more” Ahsoka said, suddenly “The Council offered to take me back, make me a Knight. I refused”

“I’m sorry” Barriss said, automatically.

“It’s not all your fault.” Ahsoka rubbed her face “They should have trusted me. And...some of what you said was true”

“No” Barriss suddenly found a spurt of energy “Really. Ahsoka, I’m so so sorry for what I did for you. And just what I did”

It wasn’t enough, was no where near enough. But it was all Barriss could do now as she lay weak, in pain and powerless.

Ahsoka looked down at her lap “I don’t know if I forgive you. But I understand now. I understand why you felt strongly enough to do that”

“You really want me to be rebel with you” It was an attempt at humour that was stymied by yet another tightening of Barriss’ chest, making it almost impossible for her to speak.

“I’d...like to keep you around. If that’s what you want”

Barriss found herself smiling again “I have got no where else to go”

Ahsoka also had a faint smile as she turned back to Barriss “That’s enough for me”

It was enough for Barriss too.


End file.
